Do Not Disappoint me, 2014

 

First and Foremost, I would like to say

HAPPY BELATED NEW YEAR!

 

 

Stepping into 2014 has me thinking a lot about my past actions, not just about 2013, but throughout my life.

 

I remember when I was in school, there was this one teacher who everyone hated

and for good reasons too, because she was a bitch….

and when I say bitch I mean STRAIGHT UP B.I.T.C.H.

Now this teacher's name was Ms. Ashburn, but we all called her AssBurn (because she was a major pain in the ass!) Sometimes we would call her that to her face and when questioned about it we blamed it on a speech impediment .

 

The only time Ms. Ashburn ever cracked a smile was when she was handing out detention slips, so we all pretty much deemed her as an pain in the ass bitch who needed to get laid!

I mean she obviously wasn't getting any, if her idea of fun was making all our lives a living hell!

 

Back then I used to feel a little bit guilty for muttering bitch under my breath whenever she swept past me on her broom, but  now looking back, I realised I was right.

 

Ms. Ashburn really was a bitch, and she really needed to get laid!

 

I know what you're thinking,"Wow Book Obsessed Loser, you’re a  childish, "Mean Girl" who needs to grow up…."

and you no what?

You’re right!

But if you  think Ms. Ashburn was a poor misunderstood ole’ lady… you’re wrong!

and

I bet you’re wondering how I know this.

 

I know this because i'm in the same exact position she was in.

Except replace bratty ass students with “meh” books, and Ms. Ashburn’s need for mind blowing sex, with my need of a mind blowing book!

 

And for those of you that don't know what “meh” means, it basically something (and in my case a book) that is neither good nor bad.

And when you spend practically a whole year reading "meh" books,  you start to get a little annoyed (and in my case just a little bitchy!)

 

And you know what 2014?

your predecessor wore me out

So,

If you don’t give me what I need...

 

I’m going to start giving out 1 stars and ranting reviews, like free clinics hands out condoms!



Much love

   &

Completely Yours


The Book Obsessed Loser