The Book Obsessed Loser

Reading is amazing!

 The only thing better than it, is reading with a friend!

 So you can gush over the epic adventure the book took you on, and have ongoing discussions on what type of vampire you’ll be. And in spite of the fact that people like to make fun of Twilight; you know that if you had a choice you would rather be a sparkling, indestructible vampire with a chance of gaining a supernatural power than a vampire that can’t even catch a few rays w/out going up in flames…

But we’re not talking about Twilight today…

Nope…

We’re talking about me,

The Book Obsessed Loser

Now they’re a lot of people that are obsessed with books to where they totally geek out to the point of loserdom, but the difference between me and them is that they have friends…. And if you read my last post [R.A Meeting] you’ll know that I’m a terrible person to be friends with….

Anyways when you read an amazing book, what do you automatically want to do?

Rave about it to your friends of course!

But like I said earlier, I don’t have friends… but I do have an older brother.

So, I talk about my obsessions with him… and sometimes I can even force him to read a book that I believe is imperative to living a meaningful life, (i.e. Twilight & Vampire Academy) and as much as he enjoys them and likes talking about the cool action packed things in it… he will never be interested in talking about how Adrian Ivashkov looks sexy w/ his hair pushed back.

So where does that leave me?

I’ll tell you…

It leaves me with an overactive imagination, filled with thoughts and imaginary scenarios, with no friends to share them with….

But, if I did have a friend…

They’ll agree that Twilight (the book) is still a better love story then Twilight (the movie)….

They’ll believe in their heart that If Sebastian Verlac ever dressed up for Halloween, he’ll dress as a duck, and the first door he’ll terrorize would be Jace’s….

 They’ll aspire to become a Dhampir, and to kill Strigoi, but not for Moroi, but for the pure thrill of it!

And they’ll share my same passion for villains!

It will be amazing!

But that’s all wishful thinking…

Knowing me…

 Our friendship would not last….

We’ll end up fighting over who loves Magnus more or who gets to claim Sebastian as theirs on the weekend….

And then there will be a huge cat fight that would put all other cat fights to shame.

Because 

I

Do

Not

Share

My book boyfriends!

I lay claim on Magnus, Sebastian, Valentine, and Adrian.

They are mine!

And the sad thing is that, although, I do live in an imaginary world in my head…..

My actual physical body is in the real world.

And if a friend magically turns up missing… you can’t blame it a random vampire attack.

 So the moral of this story is….

You can gush over my book boyfriends

But do not for one second think that he’s yours.

Beaucoup d'amour,

Your future friend,

                                             The Book Obsessed Loser

“Hey my name is Book Obsessed Loser and ….

I’m unstable…

Sometime I’m happy…. And the next second, I’m ready to break some sh*t.

And it’s all because of reading!

I remember I was reading in my room, it was a really good book, and the main characters were expressing their epic declaration of love….it was a very intense moment!! And once they were finally about to kiss…. I was interrupted, by my mother.

Now, I love my mother, w/ all my heart, but she just disrupted a very intense moment in my reading….totally ruined the moment for me!

And I was pissed!

I went all types of silent gangsta in my room!

I was ready to break sh*t! I wanted to throw my book across the room!

I wanted to, but I didn’t…

Like I said it was a very intense moment….

I know what you’re thinking…

“Why so angry, Book Obsessed Loser?”

Because no matter how many times I’ll re-read this book, feelings and built up emotion will never compare to the 1^st (almost) time….

I’m a horrible pet owner

Doggy wants to play!

Me:… No

Doggy wants attention!

Me: No!

Doggy has to go potty!

Me: Go in the corner, I’ll clean later…

Doggy whimpers…

ME: FINE!

I’LL SACRIFE MY HAPPINESS JUST SO YOU CAN GO POTTY!

I’m a terrible friend….

Friend: I’m pregnant and I don’t know what to do….

Me: Katniss had to go in to the hunger games… I’m sure you’ll be fine.

Friends: Hey, were all going out later, do you want to come?

Me: Hmmm? Hang out with friends or break in to Gringotts with Harry and his friends… I’ll pick Gringotts!

I’m unreliable…

Tell me to do something… and I will never get done!

I’m so immersed in reading to take time out, for your mundane task….

So, to wrap this up… I’m unstable, a horrible pet owner, a terrible friend, and unreliable….and it’s all b/c of reading

But do I quit?

No…

I rather read, than become a better person…

Wow that’s sound terrible…

….

Thank you for listening.

much love,

The Book Obsessed Loser

Let me clarify, I do not have a problem w/ werewolves….

I have a problem w/ werewolf books…

Are you following me?

Now my issues w/ books about werewolves are quite simple….

They’re not badass enough!

AND I DON’T UNDERSTAND WHY!

It’s like no one, knows how to write a decent werewolf book!

And I….

I….

I just don’t get it….

 I mean werewolves have so much potential, to be the, BADDEST SUPERNATURAL CREATURE OUT THERE!

, but they are always portrayed, as a lesser to vamps!

We have countless of vampire books, about vamps ripping apart bodies and draining them of blood, but when It comes to werewolves we get, “A body was found in the woods, the cause of death was a fatal bite from a rabid animal”….

Really?

A bite?

BODIES SHOULD BE TORN APART!

They have these massive teeth

And you’re telling me, THAT DOGGY DOESN’T WANT A BONE?

BULLSH*T!

When it comes to werewolves, a body shouldn’t be found!

THEY ARE HUMANS THAT BECOME BEASTS AT THE FULL MOON!

THEY ARE NO LONGER HUMAN…

THEY ARE BEASTS…

And they should behave as such.

This brings me to another thing that annoys me about werewolf books….

They think and react to things as if they’re still humans

and

Though they do have rank like Alphas and Betas….

THEY NEVER ACT LIKE IT MATTERS!

For example,

You’re told, to never look a wild animal in the eyes.

Why?

Because, it’s considered a challenge!

So tell me why…

Why are these “werewolves”, that are lower ranking members of the pack, looking their alpha in the eye?

Personally, from experience, I know that when I look my dog in the eyes, he quickly averts his elsewhere….

Why?

Because it’s a sign of RESPECT!

When a dog is intimated by a more DOMINATE animal, they wave their tail in retreat and roll over on their backs and show you their tummy…

“But why do they show you their tummy, Book Obsessed Loser?”

Because it’s the most vulnerable place on the body!

They show it, as a way of saying, they’re not a threat and that they mean no harm…

Basically what I’m saying is,

I just want my werewolves to be more animalistic.

These werewolves need to step up their game, and stop acting like little puppies baying at the moon and nipping at each other heels!

They should be stronger and more vicious than vamps! Vamps are humans with extra abilities while werewolves are magic 

And they need to start acting like it!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 P.s

[There are good werewolf books out there, it just that most of the ones I read were not…. Mercy Thompson series by Patricia Briggs, is a great series to read if you want some werewolf action. It does have other sups but it is center primarily around weres.

And one more thing… if you know of a good werewolf book out there, don’t be afraid to leave me a comment or message me on Goodreads!]

Much love,

The Book Obsessed Loser

Scene 1

Mysterious Knocker: "Knock Knock"

Me: "Who’s there?"

Mysterious Knocker: "Your TBR"

Me: "My T. B. R?....oh Sh*t"

Scene 2

Me: "My, what a big pile you are…."

TBR: "ALL THE BETTER FROM YOU TO CHOOSE FROM!"

Me: "Oh sh*t"

Scene 3

Me: "Well, this book is a little too middle grade, and this book is a little too adult…so this book, will be jussst riiight!"

…

BREAKING NEWS!

From the book community

“This new book is amazing!”                 “Page turner”

     “ Awesome!”

                                       “Fantastic!”

                           “It’s a must read!!!!!”

“STOP reading the book your reading now, READ THIS!”

…

Me:(Thinking aloud), "That new book has such a shiny cover!"

….

Me: "I MUST READ IT NOW!"

…

TBR:

Today I have a more serious post for you…and it’s for the young and easily impressed readers…

Stop giving your stars away freely!

Make these authors work for it!

Yes, those last 2 books were amazing & deliciously awesome, but you can’t go around throwing all your stars away in one review.

You have to play hard to get! Once these authors get comfortable because they know they can rewrite the dictionary and still get 5 star reviews…

They’ll know they have you & they’ll take you for granted!

You'll make them famous, rich, and want for nothing, while they’re watching their books get made into movies & leaving you, the reader, they’re #1 fan, waiting 6+ years for a sequel…(yes I’m talking about you Stephenie!)

Learn from my mistakes!

And make these authors your bitches!

Or you’ll be theirs…

Now I have always been a weird and delusional kid… even before I became obsessed with reading, because, Baby… I was born this way

I remember I was 12yrs old and I went to my first concert to see Lil’ BowWow perform….

I was so excited! I was a huge BowWow fan!

“You just don't know!
The way he moved so fast across the floor…
he was running through my mind, like all the time
To the point that I just wanna take him home”

Lol I’m not kidding!

 While he was performing, I had all these thoughts in my head about running in to him back stage and telling him how amazing he was… and then we’ll stare into each other eyes and fall in love…..

So of course my overactive imagination will only grow more delusional when I started reading.

For Example, while reading City of Lost Souls by Cassandra Clare, I inserted myself into the book. Not just reading the book and thinking about how I would react in that situation. No I put myself  In The Book….

Now take a minute to digest that….

I made myself a character… and not just any character, a main character…she was a witch and not just any witch….she was also half fairy…

She had a demon mark of course!

A pair of angel wings, that she can fold into her body, so she can wear regular human clothes, and natural blue hair gifted from her fairy genetics.  I debated heavily on whether or not she had a lion tail…. Still not sure…

Hmmm…

Yep…I had a character description….and a plot.

Here’s the jist of it.

My character was held since birth by the Seelie Queen as punishment for the demon who dared to impregnate a fairy. After years of being imprisoned, my character breaks out of the Seelie Court, using some Expelliarmus charm she learned in a dream from a mysterious man who gave who gave her one mission… Find the High Warlock of Brooklyn…..

There’s more to it but think leave for a part 2…..or not…I don’t want scare you awesome people away with my crazy thoughts.

Today I have a story for you, about a book obsessed loser, who ponders a question and ends up… stepping into Creepyville. 

“If I’m in love with a character from a book… a book written by a female author…does that make me lesbian?

…No?

What if those characters make me swoon? What if I have naughty thoughts about them… the same characters written and created by said female author?

…

Maybe I should embrace the fact, that I maybe a lesbian…

Instead of saying “Ohhh Edward I love you! Let me be your spider monkey,

I should probably say “Oooh Stephenie Meyer! The way your mind works make me want to lock up in my basement and force you to rewrite your books for me and replace Bella’s name with The Book Obsessed Loser…

[As you probably can already tell… our loser is going off on a tangent]

By the way, Stephenie Meyer…..IF YOU LOVE ME AT ALL! You’ll write the sequel to The Host…it’s been 6 YEARS!

Or any book….just show me that you’re as committed to our relationship as I am!

Why don’t you love me?

Much love,

The Book Obsessed Loser

I finished it…the emotional journey is over… 
…wow 
Everyone gave this book 5 stars, while I give it 4…

Why did I give it a 4? Maybe because I’m an evil lil' twat , that I don’t believe in endings…or maybe… jusssst maybe some sick and demented part of me, is holding that star, that shiny lil’ star, hostage until I get moreBOOKS FROM YOU TARRYN!
I absolutely loved this book! 
It mended my broken soul after what The Opportunist, put me through!
But it also left me wanting more… 
More Leah… Yeah I said Leah! I love that evil, vindictive bitch!
More Sam! I didn’t get enough of him…
More Noah…I want to hear more about his past.
I just want more!

And p.s. Tarryn [and I say Tarryn b/c I believe in my mind we are on a first name basis] I stalked your website and found out about your top secret YA books…all I have to say is… I’m waiting.
And also…. I wasn’t kidding about keeping your star hostage…..MEET MY DEMANDS TARRYN!
And you’ll get your star.

Hunger Games edition 

What I have to say today is a tad bit controversial…

Now, I’ve never kept it a secret that that I didn’t like the 3^rd  book in the Hunger Games series. Nor did I care for the 2^nd…, but I love the 1^st book!

Now here’s where my Crockpot theory comes in!

I think Suzanne Collins was warning us readers, on how our heroine Katniss Everdeen was going to let us down it the last two books…

How was she “supposedly” warning us you may ask?

Well I’ll tell you!

The title!

…….Wait! Don’t write me off as loco yet!

I have Proof!

In Hunger Games, Katniss was nicked named “the girl on fire” right? B/c she kicked major ass!

And then we read the 2^nd book, Catching Fire… which in my opinion wasn’t as good as the 1^st.

And now I’ll ask you why?

Hell even Suzanne Collins (supposedly) told you why!

Look at the title…

Catching Fire

I underlined catching b/c Katniss didn’t have the fire anymore! She wasn’t “the girl on fire” any more, she was broken… b/c that’s what the Hunger Games does to you…

And let’s not forget

Mockingjay !

Again I underline mocking b/c that’s exactly what Katniss was in the last book…

A shell of what she once was…

Pretending (or Mocking) to be the old Katniss that we know and love.

This is where I end my crock pot theory because it’s becoming a rant… but damn it! I get that Suzanne Collins was trying to tell us about war & how devastating it is to the people in it… but damn it if I wanted  to read something realistic then I would have read something under the genre “NONFICTION!”

But I digress….

Mockingjay Sucked!!!!!!

Here are the rules!

1. Pick out 3 of you fav characters & state which book or series they’re from!

2. Decide which one you want to F*ck, Kill, or Marry! (You can only pick one for each)

3. Explain your reasons why!

4. Enjoy the fun!

Okay I’ll go first!

My top 3 fav characters are

1. Magnus Bane (from “the Mortal Instruments” and “the Infernal Devices” series)

2. Adrian Ivashkov (from the “Vampire Academy” and “Bloodline” series)

3.Valek (from the “Study” and “Glass” series)

After much internal struggle, I finally came to the conclusion that I will…(drum roll)

F*ck Adrian…. I would love to spend a life time w/ him reenacting “Beautiful Mind” whenever spirit takes over… it’s just that, I gave my heart away to another…

I will kill Valek… though I do love him! And would love to see him sneaking into my bed room window in his all black spy get up, for a little “Afternoon Delight”, it’s just that he always puts the Commander first…and I’m not okay with that!

And last, but defiantly not least!

I will marry Magnus Bane!

I will not get in to how much I love Magnus & the reasons why, but I will say that I wouldn’t mind waking up every morning surrounded and immersed in glitter!

I’m an American girl from the south. So my natural accent has a twang to it… not a full on twang, but I do say y’all instead of you all…

So where does my battle w/ the English accent come in?

1 name 7 books & reading aloud instead of silently.

Since I don’t want to constantly write “battle w/ the English accent”, I will shorten it to “BEA”.

My BEA didn’t start off as a battle. It was just something fun do while reading Harry Potter for the first time.

How it started

I was 15 yrs old at the time and I need something to read. My 9^th grade teacher told us to pick any book off her shelf and keep it as an end of the school year gift.

I was really into reading (because I just finished the first two twilight books) anyways, I picked Harry Potter. My classmates were looking at me like I was weird and saying things like “Really, you picked Harry Potter”… but I didn’t care! This was my chance to read “HP” after years of being denied its awesomeness!

When I started the first book I decided to read it aloud… & w/ an accent, to make the experience a bit more fun…

And thus the BATTLE of the ENGLISH ACCENT begun…

At first I didn’t see it as a problem…

The reasonable side of me would say

“Hey… you have a problem…you’re not just reading “HP” w/ your fake accent, you’re reading everything w/ it. And I noticed 5x today, you were using it out in public!.... and there wasn’t a book in sight!

And I’ll respond (in an English accent of course)

“Bloody Hell! I was just having a little fun! Don’t be such a wanker!”

Needless to say, my BEA gotten out of control.

I slowly but surely I kicked the habit!

 I no longer use the accent…sometimes I do relapse but that’s only when discussing a book….

Anyways my BEA problem will no longer control my life…

And to anyone who says different…

Sod off you chav! I’m doing the best I can!

Any who... nice chatting w/ you mates! Cheerio! 

My sick & demented love for villains…

I love villains, and I’m not talking about “bad boys”, that are misunderstood. I'm talking about, no conscious, world dominating, dictating, evil bastards, that lights their cigarettes w/ orphans.

…why do I love villains?

They’re hilarious.

They have the best snaps and comebacks

And they’re very smart and calculating

They’re blah zee blah attitude towards people’s feelings & welfare is horrific!... and I love it!

Their raw passion & desire to control the outcome of the game they’re playing, the game of world domination is compelling…. It makes me feel a little bit evil

…just a little bit….

Or maybe I love villains because I have a creepy fantasy to tame a wild beast into submission…

But I’m not a psychotherapist, nor do I care to be.

I just love villains

Hot sexy evil villains!

In my last post I talked about my love for villains, but I didn’t tell you who my

2 favorites were,

Meet my number one favorite villain…

Valentine Morgenstern

“VM”… wow I love him! He’s amazing!

He’s so smart & cold calculating that he makes my inner Harlequin, want to come out and say hello…(lol) “VM” radiates power & strength! His raw passion & dedication is a sight to see. Like I said earlier he is a dedicated man, who believes in his cause, & will do anything necessary to make everything go as planned! And plus he’s a family man.

Sadly I can’t tell you the name of my 2^nd FAV villain…

B/c that’s a spoiler

But

And there is a but…

I could give you a few hints…

Hint#1: He’s from the TMI series.

Hint#2: His hair is so blond it looks white

Hint#3: He has greater demon blood in him

Since I can’t reveal his name, I’ll refer to him as “JMSV”(lol)

SO MEET JMSV

My love for “JMSV” is true! It’s epic! And no one can make me not love him! I know he’s evil and probably light his cigarettes with orphans, but to me it shows courage & determination to do what you feel is right, no matter what everyone else says.

How can you not love him? He’ll set the world on fire for you…. And all he really wants & needs is love, and I’ll be honored for the privilege!

I have a top 3 favorite authors. Though I do have more than 3 fav authors, these are my abso freakin lutly fav authors. I will verbally/tumblr attack anyone that says anything remotely rude about their work!

(AM I JOKING?....WHOS KNOWS?)

Without further ado I present my TOP 3

                                                      1.Stephenie Meyer

                                                      2.Cassandra Clare

                                                      3. Richelle Mead

(In the following posts I will spotlight each author) 

Stephenie Meyer

“SM” brought me into the world of reading at the tender age of 15 in 2008.

Sure I read other books before reading SM’s, but it was nothing serious…. But there I was a 15 yr old girl, who never read anything remotely paranormal.

(not even Harry Potter…I wasn’t allowed but that’s another story!) Picture me in this little book store, being forced to pick out a book to read.

I was looking around and didn’t see anything that caught my interest, but then I saw this book cover of these creepy a** hands holding an apple… I briefly recall this girl in my class reading this book and not thinking anything of it, except that she was weird to willfully read a big a** book when she could be doing anything else like texting or gossiping…. Anyways, there I was in the book store looking at Twilight, in all its creepiness and I decided take it back home with me. I read the front and back and realized 3 things…

1. This book was going to have some big a** words in it
2. It was about vampires
3. I was scared sh*tless to read it

                                                  And then I was obsessed!

I couldn’t stop reading it… I didn’t want to do anything but read.

I was in F*ck’n Narnia! I was sucked into a world of awesomeness filled w/ juicy goodness!... when I wasn’t reading twilight I was thinking about it, quoting it, &looking for other books like it & then rereading Twilight b/c they couldn’t compare(THEY DIDN’T EVEN SPARKLE! Lol jk they just weren’t good enough) any ways I was obsessed…

“SM” opened up my mind to reading. She the reason I read Harry Potter (even though it was a middle grade), The Hunger Games & City of Bones

(She recommended them on her website) and this is why “SM” is number one on my TOP 3….

Cassandra Clare

“CC” is the forbidden, bad boy, ass kicking, writing queen! She writes the most awesome, witty, sarcastic, egotistical characters ever!

“CC” she full of awesomeness!

Not only is she amazing author, she’s great to her fans by always putting out new books or novellas to quench our thirst, she also has a Tumblr to keep us updated on her plans…(but do not go if you have not read all her work or you will be spoiled!)

**weird but so true fact about “CC”**

*She collect fan girls tears in a bottle, to stay young…*